Saturday, April 19, 2014

What's up with fish kissing?

I think I've figured out why I'll never be a great fly fisher. As much as I try, as much as I enjoy fishing and fish, I'll never kiss a fish.

It seems like the 2014 version of the hero shot is now to capture for posterity a photograph showing you hoisting your fish, big or small; carp, trout or bluegill and puckering up.

I don't want to seem like a prude, but that's just wrong. I mean, have these people considered the consequences? Giardia (Beaver Fever...not Beaver Cleaver) for a start. Have any of these people ever had Giardia? Have you not ever heard of the trots? It has nothing to do with horse racing.

And you do realize that some fish have teeth don't you? Explain to your other half what that infectious looking sore is on  your lip. No thank you, I have enough problems explaining pimples on my nose.

After doing some research, I've also found that fish kissing is illegal in 5 Southern states. Talk about enlightened. Say what you want about Southerners, but they know you eat the fish, you don't kiss it farewell.

And you know that old joke-Water? Never drink the stuff. Fish F**K in it! Really? What are you thinking? I can't help but wonder who the hell started this. At the risk of sounding sexist and angering my female friends, I think I know who started it, but at the risk of pissing her off, I'll just say, way to go girl. You've got the guys doing it as well. And guys...stop it! Are you a man or are you a fishkisser?